sunrays

nose

a second baby has been much easier for me as i know things. from experience. with Aiden all i had was things i had read. and some vague notion that there was a right way…or at least a better way to strive for.

now i am secure that the best way is the way that works for us. i’m holding liam all of the time. he doesn’t like to be put down. This is different the aiden, who would at least sleep in his crib for a bit every night. i don’t mind holding liam all of the time. i know that he is still early. that things change and he will go in his crib. that after 9 months of being with me all the time, it is hard for both of us to be apart. and i don’t (for the most part) worry about it, here on day #2 being home. i accept that i will be sleeping in the chair with him on my chest, though last night we did sleep some in our respective beds! i also accept that i will be nursing constantly. the reading always say you should feed every 2-3 hours, but in reality, in this first week. liam nurses a lot of the time. and i always offer him food when he is fussy b/c i know that you cannot nurse too much, but you can nurse too little.

(i wrote this before becca’s twitter asking if society is obsessed with parenting. i would amend “society” to upper-middle class and upper class Americans. I learned with aiden that you do the best you can and you ignore all the people out there who try to tell you that there is a better way. also – the article becca linked to was interesting, and i concur with the implication that people in this group may tend to focus too much on their kids rather then their marriages. my kids are very important to me (my life at this moment), but my marriage is very important in a different, more involved way. i.e. – i will always be a mother. and i will love and support and teach my children, but i am their parent, not their friend. i do think that people get too personally involved with their children, sometimes at the expense of their marriage.)

aiden has taken to liam very cutely. it is seriously the most awesome thing.

the one thing i dreaded about birthing another baby is the hormones after. they suck. one is warned that they suck, but i’m not sure you can adequately prepare someone for the rollarvcoaster they are. annoying. again, i know that this too shall pass.

so. i had a baby. another beautiful boy. whose labor and delivery and first hours after birth were nothing like his older brother, even though the pregnancies were the same (easy) and both birthdays started with the water breaking, but my body not actually wanting to go into labor.

i hadn’t had too many early labor signs with Liam, so had only really spent one day looking at birth stories on the internet. I was 37 weeks and 2 days. I expected to at least make it to 38 weeks (about when i had Aiden), and may be longer since i hoped to go into natural active labor instead of water breaking + no labor + pitochen.

i had been crampy all saturday, but i had been crampy before and nothing, so i did not think to much of it. saturday after ben, aiden, and i went to down town evanston to satisfy ben’s need for jamba juice and my desire to walk. turns out it was an art fair downtown, so we enjoyed walking around it, even though it was a tad hot.

i woke up at 3 on sunday morning feeling uncomfortable, but just attributed it to my obsession of whether the cramping was a sign. i looked at the internets. i went back to bed around 4. i was trying to get back to sleep and felt/heard a pop and knew that my water had just broken. i got out of bed quickly, though carefully. i got ben up, called the dr, and packed the rest of the stuff. Ben’s parent’s came over to be there for aiden and ben and I were off to the hospital. we got there around 5:15.

i was having pretty regular and some what painful contractions, so i had hoped that this time my labor would progress on its own. it did not. i just so happened that the ob was at the hospital and was the ob I saw on monday. he amuses me. i was 2-3 cm dilated. he was willing to let me wait to see if labor picked up, but kept on his theme of usually what happens last time happens this time (meaning i would need at least a little pitocin to stimulate labor). This theme was true only on the theme of labor STOPPING. annoying. i gave in to the pitocin faster this time b/c i knew. plus i went so fast on the pitocin last time that i just want to get started already. plus. i was hungry.

hahahahaha. oh pitocin, you tease.
i did not go fast. i went normal speed.
my theory is that with aiden his head was down on my cervix for at least a week before my water broke, so when my contractions started with him, his head did the fast work of opening the cervix (3 hours of pit), b/c he was ready.
with liam, he was still pretty high when my water broke, so the contractions had to open the cervix. the pitocin makes them HURT. also, he was turned around facing my front, hence a slower decent and a lot of pain in my back. but i was committed to out lasting the pain b/c last time it was so quick. and this time i was much more able to deal with them. I’m not sure why. but i was.
they hurt.
and they did not make speedy work of my cervix opening.
i wasn’t so much worried about the pain, as i was the fact that my bodies way of dealing with the pain was not relaxing and was preventing the progress of my cervix. by 5 or so, it had been more than 12 hours since my water broke and i became worried about the infection risk. not that i needed to deliver right then, but i wasn’t close.

oh, i should pause to say that my nurse way awesome. she was really supportive and actually hung out in my room a bunch chatting. and helping me weather the contractions. (sundays are the best day to labor. they are somewhat slow.)

anyways, through the conversation with my nurse, i told her my aversion to the taking of the narcotic was the fact it made me pass out last time. she said that they could just give me the stadol instead of stadol + other drug that helps with the nausea of stadol by making you really sleepy. i would take the nausea, leave the passing out. and it was nice. the contraction still hurt, i just didn’t care that much. i stayed awake and was lucid. and when it wore off it was apparent that it was not the magic bring on the baby drug. so i consinsted to the epidural.

i should pause and say i’ve always been more afraid of someone messing around in my spine then having some strong belief that “natural births” are the best. poooey. have the birth you have. i read WAY TOO MANY blog birth stories where women are all set on a natural birth and things don’t go that way and they are SO SAD. jesus. do you have a healthy baby? if yes, quit the whining.

anyways, the anesthesiologist was annoying, and the epidural didn’t REALLY WORK. it worked for like 4 contractions, and did NOT after that mainly b/c something during this whole time was the magic bring the baby on and he was ready. the ob made it this time.

(ALSO who annoyed me – the OB resident, who wanted to put an internal pressure monitor in, but instead of talking to me about why it was needed, she mentioned it to my nurse, who was awesome and said that i won’t want it. which was RIGHT. i did finally consent much later when things were very painful and the baby’s heart rate was dipping, and then it was too late as the baby was too far down (hence the whole dipping heart rate))

i pushed for a bit. the epidural helped a little, but it still hurt. pushing though, is awesome, as it doesn’t hurt as much b/c it is productive. this time, i was mentally all there. and that was awesome. i don’t remember much of aiden’s birth. liam’s birth was a whole other experience. feeling his head with my hand (that was strange). when i pushed his head out – it seemed normal that there was a head out of my body. and when the head was all the way out the dipping heart rate, which had resulted in the internal fetal monitor and oxygen for me, became apparent: the cord was wrapped twice around his next and he was holding it. crazy boy. not a big deal though, the ob cut the cord then commenting that it only mattered b/c it might make it hard for cord blood donation. so strange to be having a conversation during this. anyways. i pushed liam the rest of the way out, was able to see him come out and immediately held him.

the nurse cleaned him up just a little while the ob did the cord blood and delivered the placenta. the placenta, now it is amazing. it looks like a liver! at least the livers i see on tv! it was sooooo interesting to see it. i held liam for a while to get his temp up and for him to feed, which he did. and continues to do like a champ!

last time i said for this time: pitocin=epidural. i should have listened earlier. oh well. besides the anesthesiologist being annoying and it not really working, the epidural wasn’t as bad as i thought. i could move and feel and do a jig. this might be do to the short time the epidural was in place. i was cursing the anesthesiologist the whole time.
also: writing a strongly worded letter to those that say second labors last less then first
things that were better: this hospital now lets you have a “clear” diet while laboring, so i got jello and broths and juices all during labor, which was nice.
- i was much better at handling contractions
-epidurals aren’t as scary as i thought, though they it didn’t really work for me. so, don’t go getting one thinking it would make all things better
- though i do attribute me being more there during the delivery to the epidural, so i am happy i got one, though i want my money back. ; )

welcome Liam James Harper
June 28, 2009 9:53 pm
7 lbs 19.5 inches

ben is nesting.
i am eating cookie dough ice cream since that is what my child picked out at the store.

i’m wondering if i’m just too young or just too unhip enough in my youth to have never really gotten into michael jackson. Therefore, i am not affected really by the news of his death. By the time he was on my radar, he was in the news because of his strange choices and not because of his music. However, i have developed a later in life appreciation for thriller and the billie jean song. in all of the today show’s coverage, i was surprised that i needed reminding that he has kids! three of them! and that i who i am ultimately sad for.

today i am full term. this is exciting, as if i do go into labor the hospital won’t freak out. i am ready for the baby to come only really to have a smallish baby. but on the other had i REALLY ENJOY my uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep at night. and i love how we have regular naps. and sleep. and stuff. so i’m enjoying this time also.

test

it occurs to me that i should amend my weight comment from yesterday to read:
i think i remember people being skinnier then they were in high school. (a side effect of not being skinny myself) therefore, when i see pictures now, when i have a readjusted self-measure, i’m surprised to find that people aren’t as skinny as i remember.

i was reading this story in the ny times and that and the book i am currently reading underscores my question of why women get mad at the “other woman” (or in the times story women). they have no commitment to you. i guess i can understand if it is a friend. to be mad as a betrayal in the friendship. but if ben cheated on me, i would be mad at him, not the other woman! at least not mad at the other woman to find her and chew her out like she has stolen something of mine. i won’t be her friend, but i won’t hold her responsible for the failure of my husband!

in other random thoughts. fb pictures make me think that everyone from my high school gained a lot of weight since hs, as i have lost weight. even now. 9 months pregnant.
okay. not everyone. the people i see are still beautiful. but those i just see in pics. dang.

why is ben “watching” the dateline special on michael jackson?
why do my dog stink? (Groomer for her tomorrow)
why is my cat a tad crazy?
why do people like to ask me a lot of questions about the state of my pregnancy? i don’t mind the funny texts of are you in labor yet?, but the detail oriented questions about things i don’t want to talk about drive me batty. mainly b/c no sign will predict that you are going to go into labor. seriously. one’s water breaking means you will have the baby soon (even if chemistry has to force it), but isn’t even a sign that you are going to go into labor (without chemistry). nothing else means anything! just ask dr. google.

i just spent a lot of time data mining to not get a good graph. so it goes.

last friday, it was (i think) the 8th rainiest day since 1888 in Chicago. We got 4 inches of rain (at least). not surprisingly, the basement took on water. i do not fault it, as it was SO RAINY. the water did get some of our stuff wet, but mainly just bottoms of boxes. About 6 or so boxes got wet. The stuff inside them was fine. The thing about cardboard is once it gets wet, it loses all its structural integrity, even if it dries. so we got the stuff out of them (some of the were empty), and ben put them out for the recycling today. a couple of minutes ago, a neighbor drove up and helped herself to the boxes. not that i care, though she’s going to be surprised when she goes to use them!

ben’s grandma is obsessed with reality tv. okay. i don’t know that for a fact, but that is the word on the street. and is supported by her starting grandma’s reality tv blog. for reals.

i have not obsessed about my weight during this pregnancy. but now i am obsessing about the weight of the baby. though my ob told me that second babies are bigger then first due to the lack of have to stretch the uterus anew, i was still surprised with the ob i saw this past week used the highly accurate technique of feeling the baby through my stomach and telling me that he was average – around 7 lbs at 36.5 wks. aiden was a little small (just under 7 at 38 wks). i left swearing off sugar (at 9:06 from my 9:00 appt. this ob’s office is much better b/c he doesn’t do a lot of ob care (mainly old lady care), but is on the call rotation for birthing babies, and i like him, so i saw him when my usual ob was out of town. ben has towarted my effort today as he brough home dunkin donuts munkins and then planned for us all to go to the local ice cream parlor after dinner (his turn to cook) . how could i argue except to accuse him of trying to make this baby 9 lbs. to which he responded, so what if he is 9 lbs? what’s the difference? i said i don’t want to push out a 9 lb baby. to which he replied (basically) how can it hurt more than the last time?

men.

this is aiden’s face in response to being told to smile! for the camera

today i went down to the old neighborhood (which i actually do a lot for various reason, mainly having to do to gestating a child) to spend time with some friends that were visiting for NU graduation. They moved to long island in Dec. one is a prof out there; the other a post-doc at the national lab out there. we met at our favorite thai place. we talked for almost 4 hours! it was awesome. they are awesome. i took the train in to the city due to the cubs game = hard time parking & yucky traffic. OF COURSE there was an open parking place in front of the restaurant for most of our time there! oh well. riding the train (then bus to minimize walking in the 85 degree heat) was painless. i remember how much i liked it. we talked so long that i thought for sure the game would be over, BUT NO. yet again the cubs went into extra innings. i had already walked half way to the station right by the field thinking it would be fine. so i hurried the rest of the way. it was hot. but i made it, and it was relatively painless getting home. i just hate cubs fans.

i readily admit that my husband is awesome. it is underscored when i hang out with my other friend (who came up on thursday) whose husband is always gone (he is an consultant) and she is amazed that there is someone else home! that does housework! (i cook. ben cleans.) that takes care of the kid without prompting! (this is the strangest thing to me. i understand the being gone a lot due to work, but when one is home, i would expect them to do everything with the child b/c they want to spend the time with the child. and not b/c or have to be asked. so strange. but i wonder how much is due to the guy no being around and therefore not really knowing what to do. i really don’t know what to do with other people’s kids and i have extensive experience with me own.) anyways, it is also underscored on days like today where is he has taken care of the kids solely for the vast majority of the day. i’m thankful that he is a partner is this venture called parenthood. and not just the person who funds it.

happy father’s day ben.