sunrays

in the middle of december Liam started sitting and now is getting past the “desperately needy” stage. I don’t have to hold him all his waking hours. he naps in his crib (huge improvement over aiden’s requirement to nap with me in the bed at this age). when he is up he is entertained by sitting in front of his box of toys and unloading. and chewing.

i’m starting to get restless.
just a little.
and it has started me thinking that i should rewrite my about page to reflect my current ponderings…
i’m a better writer in my head.
as i rocked liam today i started thinking about all the different versions i’ve been of myself over the years. none better then others, but each unique and sometimes quite different.

• though i am restless, i am at peace with the current stay-at-home-with-the-kids-and-needy-dog version. i get restless about the future, but i know that i will never regret this choice. and i really enjoy being here.
• i’ve been the total opposite working all the time always thinking about science grad student. always thinking about my to-do list.
• i’ve been very into jimmy buffett
• i’ve wanted to be a hippie when i grew up
• i’ve been the out all night drinking and dancing version
• i’ve been the my life is my social life classes don’t matter thanks for the C version (last semester at tech. skipping my stats class to hang with carter. yes. stats. the one thing i did actually need again.)
• i’ve been anti-social going to movies by myself not seeing anyone during the weekends version
• i went to a lot of baseball games one year. and liked them. really. i did. i know. i much have been falling in love.
• i’ve cared about things i now find hilarious i cared about

i know the future hold more versions of myself, and that just b/c i am this version now does not mean that i will be this version forever.

And another story in my book i’ve read before! annoying.

we have reached that time of year where snow sticks around for months. we have ~4 inches of snow. the leaves are off all of our non-evergreens. the view out the back of the house is of long stretches of white as the park is all we see. on days after fresh snows, the hills in the park are dotted with people sledding.

Ben got the Roku for Christmas. It is a box that streams internet video to your tv. We thought just Netflix, but upon setting up there are a lot of other options also – including amazon video, some MLB channel which you can buy out of market games. We watched Nick and Nora’s infinite playlist last night. It was amusing in the same vein as Juno, though not as serious. It was a cute little movie, and made me nostalgic for my early twenties of staying out all night. or at least staying out late dancing. it made me get out one of my old journals. it was of the 4-6 month period of the beginning of ben and i and OH! so! much! angst! it was the rough time where we were trying to figure out/coming to terms with the fact that this! was! it! hahahaha. it amuses me now how much brain space is used trying to figure out relationships.

unrelated. i am already tired of diet commercials. i saw something the other day that made me want to write that i agree with the statement that exercising is a luxury. if you are poor or even just trying to keep things together for your family, you do not have the time or money to exercise (and yes, chicago in the winter requires money to exercise – wether for special clothes or a gym membership). have access to good healthy foods is a luxury. so don’t judge those who don’t have access to that luxury.

happy new year!
i celebrated new year’s eve by being asleep by 10 pm. it was awesome. though i was up briefly at 11:15 with the baby.
the dog celebrated by getting me up at 3 am with diarrhea. it was awesome. NOT.

so i’m reading a book of short stories – Too much happiness by alice munro. it is good, but i have run into a problem i also experienced with david’s sarais’s new books a year ago - that i have already read a few stories in the new yorker. (more then a few in sarais’s book). i’ve now read 5 stories in munro’s book and had already read 2 of them. so. i double paid. soooooo annoying. why are things double published? well, i guess i understand, but there should be some warning. or something.

on the subject of the kindle. i do NOT understand how the pricing of kindle books work. i bought The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society a week or so ago for $7.46. I looked a couple of days later and it was $7. New releases are $10. A lot of old books are $10, but some are $5 (like twilight book 1). i do not understand. and it is just something else to be neurotic about. Oh. and i just reminded that I had not posted my initial thoughts on my kindle at are summed up by this email i wrote carter:

so yes, i have a kindle
i adore my kindle.

i do not adore the fact that amazon has a lock on the technology of the kindle.

my library has ebooks of the adobe ebook format available for “check out”.
on first internet glance, it seemed that i could convert these ebook to pdf and get them on the kindle that way.
turns out that that doesn’t really work anymore (judging by date stamps, it worked last year)

it has been hard for me to accept that i have to buy the books from amazon as i have been using my library/half.com for book for years.
i dug around and found
(1) most “classics” are free or $1 in the kindle store
(2) a lot of out of copyright books can be found as pdfs and then can be transferred to your kindle
(3) some older books are <$10. i have found no ryhme or reason to amazon’s pricing scheme for non-new releases. i got the first twilight book for $4.25. atwood’s the handmaid’s tale is $3.75. but some old chick lit books are $10. i just got the potato peel book for $8.

in the end, i’ve just come to terms with the fact that, like music, i should be willing to pay for books. $10 is a good deal on new releases. and i just think of it as supporting writers.

decorating gingerbread houses

so this christmas we did lots of christmas things with our friends

Decorating cookies:

we are back in chicago safe and sound. flying is so much better then driving, though i am not a fan of the take off and landings. christmas vacation in arkansas was good despite the hospital inducing illness. i have mixed feelings about flying southwest – the only bad (though MAJOR) is the non-assigned seating. it causes me stress. we boarded in the a group due to paying to be an early boarder ($10/each). and it was fine, even in LR where the plane was half full of people flying through. but it still causes me stress. the goods are numerous – flying out of midway (which handles the weather much better then ohare), but mainly SW is the only airline that flies non-regional jets into LR and having the three seats for the four of us makes a HUGE difference instead of ben having aiden by himself and liam and i to ourselves.

happy new years to you and yours!

so i’ve meant to write here on many topics, including all about my new kindle, which i basically wrote carter in an email. bu i haven’t posted b/c before christmas i spent every non-kid moment working on ornament gifts for my family. they were cute, even though i did not get the cutest one done in time. i will by the next holiday season.

i am currently eating ramen. it is good. and it has been many many years since i ate ramen. but it is perfect for a stomach that is still recovering from the worst sickness i have ever experienced. aiden puked for a little bit on christmas eve, but was fine after 6 hours. on christmas everyone was fine. i passed out on the couch at 7 and then slept basically until 6. i should have known something was wrong. but i felt fine. we hit the after christmas sales. i was a little nauseous. i ate a little lunch and went for a run, but only did one loop b/c i was feel worst by the minute. by 7 pm i had not kept a single thing down. not even ice. i could not move. i was running a temp and was worried about a kidney infection since i knew i was dehydrated. so my mom and i went to the er. i mainly went for the saline iv i knew i would get. seriously. i was dreaming of water. i was so thirsty. i felt like a drug seeker, except all i wanted was a saline iv to help with the thirst.

turns out, i was very dehydrated and very sick and ended up spending the night in the hospital for fluid and antibiotics. no evidence of a kidney infection. though i did get a lecture from the very old dr on rounds this morning before he discharged me.

ben and my sister also spent the afternoon/evening/night throwing up. i just got very dehydrated probably due to the nursing and starting out dehydrated. thankfully, my other sister did not come down with it (she had probably gotten it the friday before we left) and she was able to do a stellar job of taking care of the childs while my mom was at the hospital with me. that’s is really all i worried about this morning when i finally felt human, that she would get sick and i had abandoned all my childs to sick people. thank goodness we had started liam on formula supplements, so he was able to eat while i was away. i’m back to nursing thank goodness. even though they warned me that the anti-nauseous med might make liam drowsy. hahaha. whatever. i did pump and throw away the milk it was probably most concentrated in. and this drowsiness has not materialized really.

anyways. i am feeling better today. everyone is feeling better today. i feel bad for ben as it is hard to be sick in someone else’s house, but i was glad that we were here at my parent’s as we had lots of help and i had my mom. and really, even at 31 one still needs their mom when they are so sick they cannot move.

we started liam on solid foods last week. he eats like a champ, like his brother. though it turns out that he has also not being gaining weight. AGAIN. though last time it was thought to be a scale error since when we went to the ped two week later it appeared that he has gained 2 lbs. anyways. i wonder if there was a scale error now. and so it goes. he is meeting all his developmental milestones and doesn’t act like he is starving. so no one is actually worried. i suspect that it is due to us having problems with his reflux this past month (i.e., needing to up his meds and thinking it was just teething for a while). low weight gain is definitely a symptom of reflux since it hurts to eat. the baby doesn’t eat that much. and therefore doesn’t demand that much and so my milk supply goes down. bad cause and effect. so i’m back on the maple syrup herbs, which did help last time. and we are offering liam a bottle of formula after 3 nursing sessions, though he has only taken 1 oz since we started. which means he isn’t starving. plus i’ve been giving him all the avocado he’ll take. which is like HALF AN AVOCADO! where he puts it, i have no idea. dude is not starving.

i do have to say that having the formula option makes my life so much better in being able to be away from liam in arkansas where i don’t have my electric pump.

it is christmas time

winter has arrived with gusto. it has been a pretty mild fall, but this week we got a an inch or two of snow and the temperature is going to drop to 8 degrees tonight. with a high of 17 tomorrow. i have my usual thursday errands to run; however, i want to stay wrapped up on my house, but if i can’t brave it now it is going to be a looooong winter. so i’ll just bundle liam and i up and head to trader joes as long as the roads aren’t a sheet of ice.

happy birthday christopher. on your birthday last year i was in the big ATL. i also was 9 weeks preggers. and it was cold in atlanta. i’m still annoyed.

trader joes has the best maple creme sandwich cookies shaped like maple leaves. so good. sooooooo good.

i finally figured out that our membership to the aquarium does allow us to take a guest in place of the spouse. so i think i’ll finally get some use out of the membership. too bad it is not close. plus it is hard to fit 4 cars seats into the acrua. though e has a minivan(!) so that will be easy with her.

(um, how did i get to the point where not only do I have two children, but my two closest friends (okay. let’s face it. my only friends that are not related to me) in chicago each have two children. this is only weird to me because only ONE (ONE!) close friend from college/high school has ONE child. GET IT TOGETHER PEOPLE. not that you would be joining me at the aquarium, but at least i would not feel so weird having two children and all. of course. if you aren’t having children ignore me. also. good move for the sleep department.))

also. i have no idea how people are home with their 2+ children all day in the winter here when the park is not an option (it has been snowing for like 3 days here). a huge piece of my sanity is attributed to the fact that A goes to ben’s parents on tuesday and thursday. it enables me to get errands and stuff done. also. have a moment to myself as the concurrent naps times don’t always work.

i love having a two-year old. tuesday morning i was sitting on the couch with liam and the dog. ben and A were leaving. ben came and kissed me goodbye saying “goodbye babe”. A then went to the dog and kissed her and said “goodbye babe” while giving her a sweet pat. it was hilarious. A also sings whole chorus now. i.e., jingle bells or row row row your boat. they are hard to understand, but you get the gist.

this year i adopted a salvation army angel. a 6 year old boy in hot springs. yes. i figured i was going to have to mail it either way, so i decided to pick a kids in hot springs. i mailed the clothes i got at the carter’s store today and sent the toys/dvd via amazon. i had a lot of fun shopping for it. i figured that my children are very very blessed that i can pass some of that blessing on by buying stuff for a needy kid.

also. it did not help my addiction to amazon. seriously. people. i have a problem. though being able to order dog ear cleaner and not having to leave the house is awesome.

and sometimes, this is how the morning goes.

today i got a replacement for my iphone b/c my former iphone started giving me an error message and blah blah blah i have apple care apple replaced it. of course, with the original phone model. i actually am pretty happy with it and don’t want to jump in to the 3G phone b/c of the increased cost of the data plan. i’m happy with it, especially since my service has gotten better in my house. or i just don’t use it enough as a phone to notice. i do use it has a hand held computer a bunch. it is the perfect thing to use while nursing/putting baby to bed. i love it. love it. i bought this game called finger physics and it has provided much entertainment while rocking.

i miss sleep.
i have not slept more than two hours in a row in a very long time.
liam is teething/growing/loving. i think his reflux meds stopped working (they are very sensitive to weight) and we thought we was just teething/may be getting a cold. but then it became apparent it was his reflux. the dr upped his meds, so i am hoping this helps. the problem now is that i am so exhausted that i do not have the gumption to rock him back to sleep when he wakes up at night and just bring him to my bed. which does not result in quality sleep for me. and greatly irritates my hip from laying on my side. i really need to just go to sleep earlier. but i am all in a little arts and crafts project right now so i’m doing that once the kids are in bed. which is just an hour. b/c naps have not been concurrent today, so i am itching to work on my project. which means. bed at 9-10 again. (I know. that is early. but not early b/c you are as tired as i am)

something about cookies made with ginger makes them particularly addicting to me. also: see last paragraph.

so it is snowing in the south. i remember it snowing at least once a year in atlanta and hot springs. but according to becca, it rarely snows in houston. though didn’t it snow last year. i think it is funny how much people have twittered/fb’d about it today. though if it rained as much in chicago as it rained in the south this year, i would have many many tweets about it. also. i will tweet about the snow. and by tweet i mean bitch. b/c that it what i do. i complain about the snow.

on of my favorite stages: the sucking on toes.

it is noon on thanksgiving and so far i have baked two pumpkin pies. one pecan pie. one loaf of cinnamon raisin bread. one loaf of walnut wheat bread. and the apple pie is baking in the oven. that is a lot of cooking in the past 6 hours. and i ran for 45 minutes. showered and dried my hair. and took care of childs by myself until 8.

whew. i am amazing. though i did all the pie crusts yesterday, except for the top of the apple pie. oh, and i did the apple cutting yesterday

turns out that i did not need to be so focused this morning, but i had never done all my baking the day of and so did not know. also. thought dinner was going to be at 5. it is going to be later. so i have plenty of time.
now i know.

just realized i forgot to put the butter in the apple pie filling. oh well. the two sticks of butter in the crusts should provide plenty of butter.

i used a lot of butter today.
and flour
and i tasted a bunch of yumminess.

since i have off obvious dairy (but not butter, b/c is life worth living without butter?), there are few side dishes i can eat. (i had green bean casserole last weekend, and boy, was liam fussy the next day) but i also made cranberry sauce yesterday (yes, from fresh cranberries) and will be very happy with it plus turkey plus my bread. yum.

i am very thankful for many things today. my unbelievably awesome husband and my unbelievably cute children. and pets. and my parents and sisters. and my husband’s family. and my health. and my family’s health. and the fact that though some members of my family are crazier then others we all love each other very much and enjoy spending holidays together.

(random note. it is still weird to think that ben is my HUSBAND. though this might also have to do with the fact that i rarely wear my wedding ring anymore. b/c i’m all like i’m not your property! though he did make me wear it while i travelled. and makes me put husband on forms b/c of legal reasons. i think once i stop being a homemaker i’ll stop being all like i’m not your property and rebellious again society’s pressure to be pair with a man. of course, ben is the last guy on earth that would be all like you’re my property!)

hard life

a couple of weeks ago i signed up for a free trial of amazon prime. it is for 3 months. it give you free 2 day shipping.

i order not a small amount of stuff off of amazon and it seem that it has been taking longer and longer for the free shipping stuff to be shipped. sometimes it was WEEKS. this annoyed me. i like shopping amazon. even though the prices aren’t always amazing, frequently they are good and if you factor no sales tax they are even better. but it was taking SO LONG to get things that it was not worth it usually.

then i signed up for this prime trial where you get free two day shipping. HOWEVER their two=one= less than one in some cases.

i had occasion to order some stuff.
and i noticed things were showing up IMMEDIATELY. seriously. yesterday afternoon we went to target. ben decided he wanted this trimmer set. saw that it was $5 less on amazon. we ordered it at 4:30 pm. it was sitting outside my front door when we left for the park at 10 am.

SERIOUSLY.

this has happened with a couple of things i ordered – the next day showing up. some books. some dish towels. a present. i’ve had the occasion to see then delivery. it has been some dude in his sedan. FOR REALS.

turns out a lot of the stuff is sent via a courier service called A1 from a warehouse south of the city in indiana.

so i’ve really been enjoying prime and we will definitely be paying the $80 year for it when it expires in jan. i know that the extra speedy is due to living in(near) chicago.